Dear Friend
I still remember the day when you called me and asked me “Astha, I don’t know what love is and I think you should do a blog on this!” For a change, I was shut {and people who know me, knows it a miracle which happens only once in a blue moon}.
I instantly asked you, “What do you think love is?” You told me, “It is the butterfly feeling you get in your tummy when you see someone is love for you!” and my reply was “Bhai! Woh lust hota hain (:p)”.
Then you told me “See I don’t know what love is and I don’t think I could ever fall in love again!!”
Well that is the day I decided, I am for sure going to do an article on this and give it to you as a gift on your birthday! {So here you go.. Happy Birthday Swapn Angel!!! :p}
Well you know how I love my RESEARCH phase while writing my BLOGS. So I started asking random people about LOVE as a conversation starter aka ice breaker and I got some really interesting feedbacks. I started getting very confused by those feedbacks, so I decided to ask my friends about it {#WrongMove}. I thought I’ll get some clarity but I started getting some really weird responses. {When it comes to love sabka dimag ek jaisa chalta hain}.
I got SRK style response, “Pyaar dosti hain!! Agar who meri sabse achi dost nahi ho sakti.. toh who mera pyaar nahi ho sakti!!! “:p to some heartbroken response, “What is LOVE?!! Baby don’t hurt me!!!”
I even heard cheesy response “The one who lets me be the way I am” to “the one who accepts me for who I am”. I even got to hear things like the one who is YING to my YANG. So all in all, I heard a lot but not once did I hear, “I am already loved if I get love from my life partner it would be just a cherry on the top of my cake.”
LOVE BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED
Sweetheart! Why don’t you realize you are already so loved? You have your mom who accepts you for who you are & loves you even when you have fucked up {and we both know you have fucked up quite a lot of time}. You have your little nephew who misses his “TIO” and for whom you are his whole world. You have a friend who is writing a 1180 word blog so that you know “What is LOVE?!!” {matlab zindagi mein itni footage kabhi mili hain?!!}
And still if you don’t know what is LOVE, then we as your friends & family have failed to make you feel loved. Or you are just a douche who is greedy and is taking our love for granted. I think the latter one is true cause 1. You are a douche and 2. Refer to point 1. As humans we are used to taking things for granted. We forget to say thank you for “our blessings” and we don’t realize how loved we ALREADY are!
WHAT IS LOVE FOR “ME”
For me love is, when my mom stays up late at night till I don’t reach home from my late night parties {which knowing me is quiet frequent}. For me love is, when my brother makes the drunk me eat magnesium tablets so that I don’t have a hangover next day. {Weirdly magnesium tablets works well for hangover :p}. For me love is, when my friends message me at night “reached home?”. Stop waiting for big romantic filmy gestures and start enjoying these small ones & you’ll definitely realize how loved you are.
THE ROMANTIC LOVE
Well Buddy {he is my bestfriend for those who don’t know him} said this to me, “Nahi Astha! The romantic love that is something we could only get from our life partner.” And I know if I was speaking to you in person, you would have definitely said the same.
Well you remember the game I played with you, “5 things you want in your life partner”. You told me “She should be hot”; “zyada dimaag nahi hona chahiyen”; “should have a lot of gal pals, so that she doesn’t eat my head” etc etc etc. I don’t remember the other two but you never said in those 5 points that you want a life partner who loves you! Why?!! You’ll say because you fall in love with a person eventually. The probability of a person having these qualities would make you feel attracted towards him/her more but the surety of love is never ever there.
HUMANS EXPECT ALOT
See as humans we EXPECT a lot. We want our partners to “LOVE” us, be our “SOULMATE”, be the perfect “HUSBAND/WIFE” etc etc etc. Well that is where we go wrong! We expect way too much. For eg. A SOULMATE should not necessarily be your life partner. It could be your friend, your brother, your sister, your sister-in-law etc etc etc. It is not necessary it has to HAS TO BE your life partner. If you get that connection from your life partner it’s a BONUS but if you don’t get it, then you should not be sad about it. The key is to find someone else who could be your soulmate.
Dolphins version of zindagi na milen dubara! :p
{Fun Fact: Dolphins do not mate for life. A pair of dolphins typically engages in mating for a few days, and then the male dolphin chills with his male buddy & those are usually their soulmate.}
MARRIAGE & LOVE
It is great if you could find romantic LOVE from your life partner but if not then don’t feel bad. You are living in a country where still 80% of people go through an arranged marriage. LOVE happens between them with time and sometimes it never happens. I see so many marriages where there is no LOVE but they are together because of societal pressure or because they have kids or they are too afraid to be alone, so they don’t separate.
You decide why do you want to get married? It could be because of COMPANIONSHIP, it could be because of SEX. Whatever is the reason “BE HONEST TO YOURSELF”. One of my friends told me (he was joking but still), “Astha! I got married so I could get free club entry!” LOL. Sweet but true!! I am a witness to this, he really had a hard time with his bachelor days STAG entry (:p). Love is a possibility from marriage but not a sure shot result.
I do not know how much this article would make sense to you or how much you would have understood the “love” you are taking for granted. I hope you find a life partner who loves you but even if she doesn’t, please don’t get disappointed. You have friends and family who love you a lot and if you are taking that for granted then you’ll never know what love is.
Happy birthday Chutz aka Swapn Angel
Love you always
#MohMaya aka Astha
