I am NO relationship expert, feel free to totally skip this article, if you think your relationship needs professional help. I am just a girl next door with a lot of friends who have had relationship problems and on the basis of discussions with them, I am writing this article. So my top 7 dealbreakers for any relationship (I feel this even holds true for friendship and not just love).
Friends– So if he/she doesn’t get along with your friends, trust me it’s a dealbreaker. I am not saying one friend but if he/she doesn’t like majority of your friends, it is actually time to show them the door. Your close friends form 60-80% of your character/personality. If your GF/BF does not get along with them, in a way, they are not accepting a part of you or you are pretending to be someone else (infront or them) or you are hiding your true personality from your partner, bottom line if they don’t gel, it is time to show them the door.
Need/Want– So this is one of my favorite topics to speak on. In everyone’s life there are 2 types of people- one who “need” you and one who “wants” you. The former type of people have no one in their life so they have no option BUT to choose you whereas the latter type of people do have options in their life YET they choose you. Stay away from the NEEDY/GREEDY cause once they do have options in their life, they may or may not choose you.
Expectations– This point a really dear friend of mine made me realize. I was counselling him on his love life (How I love being the cupid :p). He and I were discussing this girl and he said, “ Astha, ya I do understand she is a little dumb but in 3-4 years, I’m pretty sure she’ll mature up!” Now this is a big dealbreaker. Have you heard couple’s arguments where one of them is yelling, “Oh I thought you’ll change” “Oh I thought you’ll do this” “OH I THOUGHT”. The fact that you “thought” and didn’t “ask” left a long gap for misunderstanding and this beeeeautiful misunderstanding happened cause you expected something out of someone. Stop expecting things, if you have something in your mind, SPEAK IT OUT! So girls if you are pissed with him for some reason, do tell him, rather than EXPECTING the guys to understand on their own. Most of the guys might not even guess in their wildest dreams why the fuck you are pissed with them and might just think, “It is that time of your month”. :p
Here she goes expecting again!
Finding a reason to fight– I was watching this YRF webseries #lovebytes, frankly I found it quiet irritating but it actually showed the real side of couples. SOME COUPLES REALLY FIGHT ON STUPID THINGS. The girl in this webseries says, “I love to fight with him, so that when I am pissed, he can come and pamper me.” I do understand you want to be pampered and fighting or getting pissed makes the whole pampering process fun but a person who is constantly finding reasons to make themselves feel better is a dealbreaker. Once or twice is fine but everytime, is actually not good for your mental peace in a long run.
And I could not agree with the writers of Gossip girls more :p
Someone who is always trying to make you feel insecure– I know it’s fun & cute to see your partner act a little jealous and possessive about you but a person who is in a habit of giving you sleepless nights and is in a habit of making you feel insecure all the time, is a dealbreaker. I have friends who can’t hang out with their opposite sex friends because of their partner’s insecurity and possessiveness. A. It is your responsibility to make your partner feel secure about your relationship; B. If he/she still does not feel secure about you, then they have trusting issues and no amount of talking/counselling could ever make them feel secure.
Someone who is confused– “I do not know… I like you but I like him/her too…” Dude there is nothing like “liking two people at the same time”. Either she/he is making a fool of that guy/girl or of you or of both. I read it somewhere, “If you have to choose between me and someone else; and if you are confused then don’t choose me.” This is absolutely 100% true. WALK OUT. Let confusion be at bay. 2-3 teary nights but lifelong happiness.
A cribber– Someone who is always cribbing. “This is going wrong.. That is going wrong.. Why does it always happen with me?” Sounds familiar? The cribbers make a BIG BIG BIGGG fuss even on small things. These people are always negative about things and can suck positivity out of anything. Avoid such people and trust me you’ll be happy. “Tum to hamesha hi yehi karte ho… bla bla bla… Merien saath hi hamesha aisa hota hain… bla bla bla…” LEAVE!
So here are my top dealbreakers, do let me know in the comment section how you find this article. Feel free to give in your inputs or add your own dealbreakers. Till then “Make love not war”! :p
